it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
