i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
