I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
