the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
is wine microwaveable?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
