you have to choose: penises or morals?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
