he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
