i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
they're like a gay fantastic four
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
