U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
