I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize