Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
