Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
