I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
