this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
high people should be assigned attendants
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
