Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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