i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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