I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
