too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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