That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
pop tarts are not kleenex
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
