This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
