I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
