So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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