I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
