don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
