I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
