If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
