All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
