Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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