He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
