My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
When are your genitals available?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
