Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
