so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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