I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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