I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
