I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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