Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
