I accidentally burped into my bong.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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