some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
This toilet bowl is my home.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
