This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
