And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
