Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Randomize