He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
