This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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