Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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