I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
