the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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