This is not my ceiling
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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