Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize