And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
