My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
