Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
