can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
NoShamevember. You game?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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