1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
