Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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