You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
