i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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