Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
