He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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