guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Text me some of your sweat
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
