i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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