I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
