Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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