Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
