she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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