I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
