Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
