Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
