My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They took my balls.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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