You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The uberlube is also flammable
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
