I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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