He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
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