the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
