Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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